


Beautiful Trauma

by bucky_barnes481



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Almost Kiss, James Potter Being an Asshole, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Super Moon, Tags could change, Werewolves, Young Remus Lupin, Young Severus Snape, almost murder
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-16
Updated: 2018-05-10
Packaged: 2019-03-19 09:21:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,171
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13701561
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bucky_barnes481/pseuds/bucky_barnes481
Summary: It is not only the blue moon but a super moon. Remus is not having a fun time and an unexpected help come along. Severus Snape, who would have thought?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So I don't have a beta. This has been in my head for a while. There will be another chapter I swear. For the record I imagine werewolves as just overgrown wolves really. I also have a bias towards the wolf hating wormtail, but that's me. I do hope you enjoy!

“Too soon...too soon…” Remus muttered as he paced the boys lavatory. He has effectively scared out the others a while ago. Sirius and James were serving lunch denation again. 

His fist clenched and unclenched as he paced. Dark eyes closed and opened to reveal bright amber eyes. As much as he tried he couldn’t keep him in. He couldn’t lock him back into his cage in the back of his mind. Remus tried to push the wolf back down. He wasn’t in the shack. He couldn’t let the wolf roam the halls here in school. There were the rumors and while Remus did his best to ignore them he knew they were there. One of the freaks of this school. He was ranked right up there with the best of them despite his friends. They couldn’t hide the scars or the reason he left once a month...twice this month. They tried though. 

The wolf clawed his way out the best he could though. The slight personality change would be apparent to those who knew him. He held the anger that being a werewolf caused. The wolf had all the emotions Remus didn’t allow himself to feel. This curse that he was forced to live with and try to be the poster child for his father. The wolf held all the emotions and they came out every month in a wolf that was far to violitle for some. 

Gripping the sink Remus looked up. Inside there was a battle happening. As soon as the door opened he snapped his head towards the door. A low growl escaping before he could do anything about it. 

Severus. 

“Get. Out.” Remus growled at him. 

Severus strolled right into the bathroom. He happened to be just a few inches shorter than Remus but the Slytherin didn’t know when to quit. After the torture, and Remus knew it was torture they had inflicted on him, he still hadn’t backed down. “Cut the big bad wolf crap, drink this.” He held up a potion for him. It looked like mud just more liquidly. “I’ll force you to drink if you don’t drink it willingly.” 

Both the wolf and Remus blinked a few times. Only a few people had stood up to the wolf the rare times he showed up. Plucking the potion form Severus he downed it. The muddy looking liquid went down as expected. There were gags and a betrayed look from the amber eyes towards the dark ones of Severus. 

Slowly the wolf started to calm, allowing himself to be put back in his cage till tonight. Remus blinked a few times as the brown eyes came back. Letting go of the sink he stood up. That seemed to be a mistake as he found himself gripping the sink for support once more. Severus, hooked the other man’s arm around his shoulders to take him to sit against the wall. He slid down the wall with him, sitting next to him. 

“Severus, what was that?” Remus finally spoke. Putting his head against the wall he closed his eyes. 

Severus shifted to pull a knee up, resting his arm on it. “Just a calming drought. Well, with a kick since you burn through things a bit faster.” He gave a shrug. He happened to leave out he had made it up on the spot. It was his own creation. “Where are your friends? The annoying voices typically follow you around.” 

Remus looked over at him. “Detention. You haven’t gone to charms yet have you?” Severus shook his head. “Don’t. Unless you are into different colored hair. They got caught in the act but I don’t know if the spell stuck or not. Knowing Wormtail it did but he’s been jumpy lately.” Remus chuckled darkly for a moment. The wolf was away but it still peeked out just enough. “He tried to stand up to the wolf. Speaking of, why did you give me that?” 

“Lily was worried about you, so she came to me.” Severus played with his fingers, not meeting Remus’ eyes. Lily was with James, and yet the sting hadn’t left yet. It still hurt to see them together. “I can’t deny her when she is worried.” 

The wolf in the room knew how the sting of the heart felt. For a long time he had had his eyes on someone only to be denied without a second thought. Dating was hard. So eventually he just gave up on it. Remus didn’t know how to comfort Severus though. Did he touch him? Would that be uncomfortable for the other? Did he even want comfort? Hell Remus didn’t know. But he knew one thing, Lily wasn’t going to dump James. “She’s a mother hen.” There was a long pause as he looked over the other. “Thank you. You didn’t have to make it or even care.” 

Severus met his eyes with a look of confusion. He hadn’t ever been thanked for his actions when it came to the weird pack of animals. “It is nothing, Lily asked, and so it happened.” 

Remus ran a hand through his hair. He saw the confusion on the other’s face and he understood. “The wolf respects you. He’s damn terrified of Lily.” Remus decided to change the topic to get away from that. He didn’t know how to handle those emotions. Granted right now he didn’t think he could handle them. What he did know is he was going to try to put a stop to the others bothering Severus. 

“Are you saying you and the wolf are different?” Severus sat up, using the leg that was up to lean on. 

The werewolf nodded. “Well in a way. My wolf is a part of me but he’s also his own thing. I can feel him rattling the cage as the moon draws closer. He’s more primal and wild where I’m not.” Remus tried to think about it for a bit. “He is everything i’m not and I’m everything he isn’t. It’s a balance, just a dangerous one.” 

Severus nodded a few times. Remus couldn’t figure out of he understood it or even could imagine such a thing. In a way he hoped that he did. He loved his friends but even he didn’t think they fully understood how it was. They did their best to try. Sirius was the only one the wolf didn’t see as a form of prey though, and that in turn did lead to some complications. The wolf didn’t trust Wormtail either. It was complicated at best. 

Finally the silence was broken. “You’re wolf is the more primal side then. I can’t fully understand but is that why he can claw his way out then? Why your eyes change every so often to the amber?” Remus nodded. “Right. The draught should keep him relaxed at least till the full moon rises. It’s different this month isn’t it?” 

Remus nodded. “It is not only the second one but it’s closer to earth than normal. The change could happen as soon as the sun sets. According to Fenrir that is.” He hadn’t even told James that yet. 

“Fenrir Greyback contacted you?” There was a tone of worry Remus picked up in the other’s voice. 

Remus nodded. “He does from time to time. Checking up on his creation as it were.” There was a hint of the wolf present. The anger coming forward for a moment before he swallowed it. “It isn’t the first time he’s done it. He broke into my room when I was seven. Then again when I was thirteen. Then he talks and vanished into thin air.” Remus took in a breath before slowly letting it out. “And I hate him even more for it. As if being a werewolf wasn’t punishment enough he likes to remind me where my roots are.”

“Have you told anyone?”

“No. No one cares about werewolves.” 

“They should. It’s not your fault.”

Remus sighed a bit. “Doesn’t matter. To them I’m just something that needs to be put down like a frightened animal who poses danger even though they are just trying to survive.” 

If he felt strong enough he would have gotten up to pace. He didn’t though and the lack of movement wasn’t helping. While the potion worked the wolf could feel the anger bubbling up. Typically that was fine but this close to the moon it was risking it. 

“Are you frightened, Remus?” Severus hadn’t moved from his spot, just sat a little taller. The question he could tell was genuine though. All those years he really had misjudged the slytherin. While James was the main instigator the fact was Remus hadn’t stopped him. 

“Terrified,” Remus responded softly. “I’m terrified of what I am constantly. Of the pain that’s always going to come.” He closed his eyes before he started to tear up. “The pain is what terrifies me the most. I don’t want to go through it again.” 

Remus kept his eyes closed fighting away the tears. Right up until he felt a hand on his arm. His eyes shot open lookin at the source. Severus has reached out in what he could only guess was comfort. He hadn’t expected that from him. Never in his life did he think Severus would do kind things for him. First the potion then this bit of comfort. 

“As far as I know I can’t make anything for the pain to subside it.” He didn’t remove his hand from the others arm. “But I can try to have something for after, as I’m not sure your wolf would take a potion.”

Remus couldn’t believe it as the words left his mouth. With no warning he pulled the other into a hug. Not even his friends had offered to try that. Maybe they weren’t sure how or something along those lines but here Severus was trying to help. He didn’t fully understand why but it was nice. 

Now he hasn’t thought about the reaction from the other when he pulled him into a hug. The shock on the man’s face clear as he was stunned. Remus let him go if him. “I’m sorry I should have…” He stammered as he pulled away. “I didn’t hurt you right?”

“No. You didn’t hurt me.” Severus moved to be sitting up once again. “I should go get started on the potion.” He stood quickly. “I’ll have it ready as soon as I can.” With that he left the bathroom in haste. 

Remus eventually stood up, leaving the bathroom to get to the common room. Where he was met with the rest of his crew ready for the night. Yet his mind was on a Slytherin that he never really thought about. Huh.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I needed a much needed break from school so I bring you a chapter! How you enjoy!

Remus flopped down on the bed that belonged to Sirius. Which just so happened to have Sirius on it who was now under the werewolf. There was some pushing before a growl left the mouth of the werewolf. Sirius just happened to be a very comfortable pillow after all. He was far better than James who was sitting across the room laughing at them. Peter was not a good pillow at all, he moved far too much. Siris typically handled it well enough, often either petting him or using his back to write the rest of his assignment. Remus didn’t mind being used as a table, the scratching of the quill made a great back scratcher. 

“Moony get off me!” Sirius groaned from under the werewolf. 

“But you’re comfortable and I’m tired,” Remus whined his direction. “Lily gave me a potion to calm down and I think she made it too strong.” There was no way he was going to tell the crew who actually gave him the potion. 

Eventually, after much effort, Sirius rolled Remus to his side and he was able to escape. “The wolf really that strong?” James asked from his bed. 

Remus nodded. “While you two were in detention he made a lovely appearance. Scared some first years.” 

“Eyes and everything?” Remus nodded. “Shit. But the potion Lily gave you worked?” 

“Do you see his eyes right now, Prongs?” 

“I see his attitude stuck though,” he huffed. “Same routine as always though? We meet you after dark?” 

Sirius had taken up resting his feet across Remus’ torso. The wolf rolled over onto his back looking up at the top of the cover. “No, not this time.” He didn’t have to look to see the look James was giving him. The look of shock and offence. “It’s not safe this time. James, you’re basically a meal to him. I don’t want to seriously hurt any of my friends. So it’s best this time since everything is so different to just let him do his thing. It’s not that I don’t want you all there, it just isn’t safe.” 

“Do you really think he would hurt us after all these years?” That was Sirius. 

Remus gave a small nod. “You have to remember he’s still a wolf. A wolf with a lot of anger issues. I mean he may not but I can’t shake the what if he does.” 

For a moment the group was silent. That was up until James stood up making the other two look over at him. “Fine but we will be there at dawn to come get you and the normal routine there. We can see the shack from the tower and we can make sure at least that doesn’t come toppling down on you.” 

“Thank you James,” the wolf said softly. “I can hope he wouldn’t hurt any of you, but this feels different. The only one he probably won’t hurt ever is Lily and it’s because she scares him.” 

James chuckled before sighing. “She’s great right?” 

Sirius threw a pillow at him. “Oh shut it you love sick puppy. It’s gross.” He was teasing mostly but it was still on the verge of gross. 

“Technically he’s a stag in love. You’re the puppy.” 

A pillow was promptly used to hit Remus on the head. 

Till the sun started set Remus stayed with the boys. Eventually Lily came up and made sure he was safe and sound. The only other person that knew what Severus had done for him. She made a fuss over him like always. It was a small thing but he actually enjoyed it. 

With a hug he headed out to the shack. As the sun diffed lower into the sky the wolf started to call his way back out. It was the eyes first that changed. The wolves eyes clear as day as he made his way to the shack. Once inside he could feel the start of the change happening. 

Little known to him Severus had tried to get to him before he changes. The dark haired slytherin sneaking out and rushing towards the shack. He had misjudged the setting of the sun though. It had gone down quicker than he would have liked. As he entered the shack he caught the a growl. Slowly he headed up, having not heard the screams so far. Maybe he had a bit of time. 

As he reached the level Remus was on he had his hand out to knock before he witnessed Remus crumble to the ground. The scream that left the werewolf’s mouth sending a chill down his spine as the hairs on his neck stood up on end. Severus watches the bones breaking and shifting under the skin, the growth of hair that covered his body, and had a first hand view of what a changed looked like. As Remus writhed on the ground changing into his wolf the slytherin was captivated. Despite the pain the other was in he couldn’t look away. He couldn’t take his eyes off the other. He couldn’t look away as the body shifted before him. As far as he knew there were not living witnesses to seeing this. It was haunting. He understood now why Remus would be afraid of this month after month. Severus knew that he wouldn’t stand a chance if he had to go through this. 

Within minutes a wolf, larger than a standard wolf, had replaced the man on the ground. The wolf shook off the shredded bits of clothing leaving a pile at his feet. Severus stood still in the doorway afraid to move. There was little time to actually take in how remarkable Remus looked as a wolf though. The dark brown fur with reddish tones would be the last thing he saw. 

The wolf made eye contact with him, a low growl echoing into the rather empty shack. Severus closed his eyes tightly. This wasn’t how he expected to die. It seemed painful but he couldn’t outrun the beast before him. He knew that. Merlin this was how it was going to end. He was going to be eaten by a werewolf. This had to be some cruel irony that this was how he wa going to leave this world. For a moment Severus had completely forgotten he was a wizard with a wand, but even if he had he wouldn’t have remembered any spells. 

The wolf started moving forward, one paw in front of the other watching the now frozen form of Severus. Remus rushed forward. Severus held his breath. His last thoughts were simply make it quick.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I lied...there will be more chapters...maybe just a chapter. Love the comments guys! Thank you so much!


	3. Chapter 3

The wolf simply stopped right in front of Severus. He gave the man a sniff before sitting back on his legs, looking at the other. He didn’t really have to look up at him, just directly at him. Sitting at nearly the size of a grown man he was by no means a small wolf. Remus blinked a few times watching the frozen form of the man. To the wolf this was rather strange, he had never come across someone that wasn’t running from him. Or screaming. What a strange being this thing was in front of him. Of course he knew this being was human, and he knew it wasn’t one of the three that confused him by being people and animals, but he couldn’t pinpoint why the scent was familiar. 

It was of course. The scent of the other seemed so fresh in his mind. 

Severus stood frozen for a long while. It was after a moment he realized he wasn’t in any pain and he wasn’t dead. Opening his eyes he was met with the wolf staring at him with curious eyes. Severus stumbled back and pressed himself up against the wall. Eyes wide and full of terror. 

The wolf got up on his feet. With a huff he grabbed the vest the other was wearing and drug him back into the room. The slytherin stumbled along freezing in place again. With a push the wolf pushed him over onto the bed. When Severus tried to get up the wolf let out a low growl. Being a wise man he sat back down on the bed. 

“Re-remus?” the smaller than he would have liked voice left the mouth of the slytherin. The wolf huffed a little. Right, Remus had said they were different. Right. What do that trio of idiots call him again? Moon? Moons? No it had a y at the end. “Moony?” The wolf turned towards him. “Yeah? Is that your name?” As the wolf drew closer again he felt the hot breath against his body. The wolf was rooting around in his cloak and drawing ever close to a weak point. Not many people knew this but Severus was rather ticklish on his sides. The more Moony rooted around the closer he got to his tickle points. Try as he might he couldn’t stop the laugh that came out as Moony pressed his nose against his side. 

Moony pulled back confused. He huffed again. This human smelt weird. This human made a weird sound too. Moony yipped at him. It was wolf for who the hell were you. 

Severus pulled the potions out from his cloak. He figured that was what the other was searching for. The wolf growled at him. “No...no these will help...uhm later.” Severus stammered. With a shaky hand he put them on the table next to the bed. 

It finally clicked for the wolf. He knew why this human was good, he had helped him a few hours before. Sauntering over he got up on the bed. The bed protested this fact with the way it creaked under the two of them. The wolf laying down and resting his head in the other’s lap. A stunned Snape looked down at the head of the wolf in his lap. 

Slowly he started to relax, becoming less tense. He rested his hand on the head in his lap. He expected the wolf’s fur to be corse but it wasn’t. It was shockingly silky. The brown fur held a reddish hue to it the more he looked at it. There were little specks of white running through the fur. “I thought you’d be trying to eat me...thanks for not doing that.” He started to pet the wolf slowly. Now Severus had never had a pet dog but from what he knew dogs liked behind their ears scratched. He tried it and felt the wolf relax more. “You’re a lot bigger than I thought a werewolf was. Different too.” 

If he didn’t know this was a werewolf he would have discounted the shrug that had happened. The wolf shrugged the best a wolf could. 

“Guess we are both just misunderstood then.” Severus leaned back against the wall. “I thought you’d be more...more violent.” Everything he had been taught said otherwise. Perhaps he was wrong. Or he caught the wolf on a good day. Granted he could see why he could be violent but maybe he was just tired. That change looked like it would take anyone time to come back from it. He couldn’t imagine anyone going through that and being perky. “You’re friends probably would hope you would. They hate me.” Severus sighed a little. “I hate me sometimes too,” he said softly. 

Moony perked up, looking directly at him. He was questioning why. He couldn’t verbalize it but the stare was one of why. 

Severus shrugged. “I messed up. I hurt my only friend and it’s my fault.” The dark haired one look own at his hands. “I didn’t mean it. Nothing can forgive that I called her what I did though. I know that. It...it is just…” Snape tried so hard to find the words. Maybe Remus wouldn’t remember this. “James just got to me that day and her defending him, I just snapped. It was right after break and I thought I’d have a moment to explain to her that I didn’t ignore her. I was hurt. I shouldn’t have said what I said because she’s not. But in the moment I couldn’t handle more...” 

The slytherin had never admitted to anyone what happend at home. Home wasn’t really the word for it though. Lily was home, and he actually loved being around her. She was home due to the fact that she didn’t leave him or question when he asked to meet her at the park. She was just there. Yet, he hadn’t ever told her what happened when he wanted to meet her at the park. Severus was good at hiding the wounds that happened. He could ignore the words when around her. He just couldn’t ignore it that day. The beatings that had happened had been worse than normal, and James just made it worse. James he could handle most days but that day he couldn’t. 

Remus pressed into him sensing his distress. The grip on his fur tightened. “My father…” he took in a shaky breath, “he is abusive towards me.” Tears were starting to sting the eyes of the slytherin. He closed them tightly before they could fall. “It’s been going on so long I can’t remember when it started. And then James...I don’t know what I did to deserve it from him too. It’s not my fault..I can’t change my appearance..I can’t afford to.” Little known to the rest of the world Severus tried hard to manage his oily hair, he just hadn’t found anything that worked. 

Something about Remus not being able to talk back made it easier to confess these things to him. It made it easier for him to talk to. Maybe it was the fact that Remus might not remember too. What Severus didn’t know is Remus typically did remember everything that happened after a change. It was something he had worked on for years to try and remember. He wanted to know what happened. The wolf could sense the pain in the other, and didn’t move from his spot. He listened. He knew how it felt to hold onto fear, he had his own. The dark basement with the chains, the howl of the alpha, and the fear of hurting someone. Anger was there and it often overrode the fear but it was there. 

Remus listened to Severus for hours. He listened and licked away the tears that fell from the other’s eyes. He listened to the breaking of the voice the other had. The fear that was held on every word. Remus pressed against him, allowing him to cry into him. Something the slytherin never did was to let down all the walls. He let them all down and it came crashing down. How could he do that around the purebloods who he didn’t let know he wasn’t one of them? He couldn’t or they would jump on the bullying him train. 

“I...I can’t go back there…” Seerus choked out. “I can’t return to my house...he’ll kill me.” 

Remus managed to get him to lay down, mostly knocking him over. As the night went on he laid on the other listening to him start to fall asleep out of exhaustion. The wolf slowly drifted off to sleep laying his head on the other’s head. Severus tucked himself into the wolf, ending up mostly under him as he slept. 

It was before sunrise when there were footsteps coming into the shack. The wolf perked up which woke Severus up slightly. He was still waking up as James and Sirius entered the room. Severus assumed that they thought Remus wouldn’t be in the room or they were just idiots. The two boys stopped once they noticed that Severus was in the room as well as the wolf. 

Remus stood over Severus watching them. “No fucking way...Snape really?” James huffed. “You can leave now greasy. Or do we need to help you?” 

Remus growled at them. “Sure, if you want to fight off a werewolf. I think I’ll stay put and get back to sleep.” Severus rested his hand on the wolf’s leg. 

James glanced at Sirius. “Fine, whatever. These are his clothes.” James put the bundle down. “Don’t get used to this snivellus he is only a wolf for a little longer.” 

Severus watched the boys leave as the wolf laid down once more. The slytherin turned onto his side, facing the wall. The wolf got comfortable next to him, huffing into his hair before relaxing. Slowly they both fell back asleep. 

Severus woke up to screams making him bolt upright. His heart racing as he looked about the room he notice Remus on the ground as he shifted back. The shift back looked even worse. Servus hasn’t noticed before but he could see each bone moving under the skin. Suddenly he felt sick just watching and had to turn away.

Eventually the screaming turned to a few whimpers. Severus moved from his spot, grabbing the viles and bringing them over. “Here, drink these.” his voice soft as he held the viles out. 

Remus moved slowly taking them and downing each one. As the potions took away some of the pain he sat up. Severus looked him over, blushing once he realized the other was nude. Turning away he sat on the bed again. 

“The wolf, he likes you,” Remus spoke his voice rough. Standing up he moved to sit on the bed, pulling the sheet over himself.It was too much effort to get dressed right now. He shifted to look at him. “I thought he’d be more violent this time but it seems you soothed him or something. Doesn’t rightly matter, you’re claimed as part of his pack now.” Severus nodded searching for if he remembered anything. The wolf was one thing and just because the wolf claimed him that didn’t mean Remus felt the same. “Come closer.” 

Severus slowly scooted towards him. Remus during any other time wouldn’t have been so demanding. As soon as Severus was close enough he pulled him by his vest planting a soft kiss on the other. The startled Slytherin jumped and pulled back. “Wh-what?!” He stuttered. 

“I was wrong about you, Severus.” Remus gave him a lazy smile. “If you are willing I’d like to try to see where this goes.” 

“And your friends?” 

“Ignore them. You’re in the wolf’s life and therefore mine. I couldn’t stop thinking about you and I’d like to see if it progresses further. You don’t seem to care that I’m a werewolf.” Severus opened his mouth to speak before Remus silence him. “But you have to promise me something. You won’t go join You-know-who.” 

“I never really planned on it. It was starting to look like my only option though.” He hung his head. 

“You’ll come stay with me this summer and you’ll come home with me during holiday break. You don’t have to go home.” He looked up at him. “I remember what you told him.” 

“Oh. Everything?” Remus nodded. “Okay. I promise I won’t go join them.” Severus looked over at him. “You’re not disgusted you just kissed me?” 

Remus sighed and shook his head. “No.” Remus couldn’t explain it but he was happy to admit he was wrong about him. “Also for your hair, let me lend you what I use. It helps with extra oil.” Severus nodded. “Mind handing me my pants?” The dark haired boy grabbed his pants and passed them over to him. Looking away he allowed Remus to get dressed without him looking. Shortly after he handed him his shirt, noticing the scars over his chest and shoulders. There were so many, some looked far worse than others. “I’ll explain them later.” He tossed his shirt on and then threw on the vest. 

\-------

It was a few months later when Remus officially asked him out on a date. It would be then they would have a proper kiss. It would also be the night they shared the prefect bath. For once, Remus felt at ease with someone outside of his friend group. Besides, he had wormed his way into the slytherin’s guarded heart. Perhaps they could have a happy ending.


End file.
